I grew up in Jamaica, and came to Canada when I was a teenager. Moving to a new country, leaving your family and friends behind is scary enough, but little did I know, my skin colour was going to make it that much more difficult.
In school, I didn’t understand why I was always picked last for sports teams, when I was actually very good at sports. Some of my teachers even ignored me when I raised my hand in class. Eventually I made some friends, and I remember one night going to the movie theatre, 1 white guy and 3 white girls sat behind us, and started making comments about how my hair was so nappy and how I was so ugly, calling me every racist name they could come up with. I ignored it, but I just felt so sad about how hateful and angry people could be towards me without ever having any contact or speaking to me.
My husband is a white Italian man. While we were dating there were members of his family that were against the idea of us being together just because of the difference in our skin colours. They said that if we got married they wouldn’t come to our wedding, but they didn’t even know me, they just saw the colour of my skin. We did get married and are still married to this day. Those family members ended up attending our wedding because they finally got to know me and love me, and my skin colour no longer mattered.
They were not the only ones who were uncomfortable with the idea of us being together. One year, we were travelling to New York, like we did every year to visit family at Christmas. That year, we decided to take the bus and train instead of flying. When we were crossing the border, the immigration officer began to ask us questions, and asked “What is your relationship to each other?” My husband said “We’re married”. The man stopped and suddenly looked shocked. He sat up in his chair and leaned forward and said, “TO EACH OTHER!?” as if what we said was ridiculous.
If people started looking at the person and not just the colour, they would realize that they have a lot in common and perhaps have gone through similar struggles and would be able to help one another. White is not better than black, it is just different.